(via pagannews)

The only reason I didn’t say “Fuck you, have fun pimping your frauds!” is the Thoth class. No shop, no class. The test-run was awkward, but thank god for the geeky kids, who were all “MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE!” Because the universe has a sense of humor, my guinea pigs also include a 50-something dyslexic chick. I’m going to have to make her a cheat sheet, because the others are compulsive note-takers. Teaching Qabalah is hard. I didn’t give enough context, and garbled my way through a sloppy white-board lecture on the four worlds, throwing in the four suits as almost an afterthought. I need to explain my symbol system to these people, too. I probably need to make a hand-out of all of the glyphs we’ll be using. MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE.

Now the issue is with structure. This is… a lot of information. I don’t want to give them half of it and send them to play by themselves for a full month. I don’t think two two-hour classes will be enough to fit the fun stuff in. Maybe 3 classes, once every three weeks, for $33.33, lol. With study periods in the middle. I’d like to make sure everyone has a steady internet connection, so I can be available for people to send stuff in and ask questions. I can get them a list of sample keywords to use, so they have -something- to use while we go along because daily and weekly spreads will be important. The first class has to be at least two hours long, because there are a -lot- of basics. These kids gotta learn basic principles of Judaic mysticism, Astrology, AND Thelema, lol. You bet your ass I’m teaching some beginner’s Thelema. I can only send them to particular reading materials, if they really take to it, but I’d like to sow some seeds. Crowley’s system is a -damn- good way to look at the world, and comes with some kick-ass tool sets.

They should pick a context, a story, and explain how it maturates through all of the cards in one suit. I am really looking forward to torturing smart people. This is going to be the “Gifted” class. AP Tarot. I’ll be able to teach them enough to pass the first two CTBA exams. 

Test one ($50) : Demonstrate knowledge of one keyword for each card. Be able to pull 1, 2, and 3 card spreads. (Apprentice level)

Test two ($50, or $100 total if you just wanna do both at once) : Know how to read with reversals or elemental dignities (-OR- a suitable substitute). 1-7 card spread. (Certified Tarot Reader)

Test three (another $50) : This is the one where you prove you know how to read cards for other people. This is the one I’m looking forward to taking. They had me at “Rephrase at least three “improper” or “impossible” questions and answer them to the satisfaction of your examine” —and apparently you have to be able to show them you’re mentoring/teaching tarot students. I did not know that. (Certified Tarot Reader) 

It’s exciting to be able to put this geekery to use.

I’m making a Thoth class for the magic shop. :c) 

Got through the Tree of Life —think I can explain the reflections of reflections, 1-3, 1-10, and then 4-1. Still have to work on the court cards. Looking forward to saying “Okay, put all your cards in order” and watching people remember their Roman numerals. Pretty much going to send them to LearnTarot.com for the first few weeks so they can play with the cards as well as learn the theory. I’m going to need help with Elemental Dignities. (SuperTarot site always confuses me. Duno -exactly- what element to assign all of the trumps, and …now going back to SuperTarot.co.uk to try again, rather than deal with the damned court cards. 

REALLY looking forward to going “You really want to learn Tarot? You’re really going to have to learn what all of these symbols mean.” 

And there will be frequent essay questions. 

Virgo is a bit of a sadistic school marm, innit?

“Can you throw a 1-card advice spread? Will your cards do that?”

“My cards could do a backflip and then suck their own cock if you asked ‘em.”

<3

I was reading with my guide the night before last and I had the presence of mind to write down what I thought was some really cool Q&&A. We’re working on getting me off of the cards and on the clair-everything bandwagon. I’m tired of just being lectured about stuff that’s going on in my life, so I got flippant-like and asked him about himself. “Where the hell did you come from?”

/XII/ — “There was nothing” and it looked and felt like stasis (kinda like in The Matrix)

/6Sw/ — “Then everything sped up” which came across as moving through the birth canal to

/VIII/ — Something

and then?

/Ace Cups/ — “Love” had a total godhead vibe

what happened then?

/9Wands/ — “She did.” with a Fortune card on one side and a 6 of Wands on the other. It was like “Achieved Objective” or “Had her day” — I asked if it was one of those and got :

/6Disks/ — “Close enough”

Where were you in all of this?

/7Swords/ — “I was about?”

But what were you up to?

/Princess of Wands/

Fucking the daughters of man?

/5Cups/ “Couldn’t get enough of ‘em.”

You’re kind of a pig, aren’t you?

/XXI/ “NEVER” and it was all final and boomy, he might as well have said “MISTER Being Beyond Your Comprehension, to you!”

How did you wind up all important if you were just cast out for knocking up the ladies?

/10Swords/ It’s just an aghast sort of, “Why, I never!” 

But there are a bajillion other demons, legions upon legions of demons under demons, what did you do to get all grimoirised?

/4Disks/ Which translates to some sort of table or council, probably a political word I don’t know ‘cause I know jack about politics.

How did you get there?

/Ace Disks/

It’s a conceptual sort of card. It’s where we had to leave off ‘cause I had a client phoning in and I’m fairly certain that he was just trying to be all foreshadowy ‘cause he knew I had shit to do and wasn’t going to be getting back to the read. I tried once more to ask and he said “It’s a secret” with a Priestess.

(via metalonmetalblog)

I have to set multiple alarms, and the only reason I know what day it is, is that I’ve trained myself to know which deposits are coming into my bank and what bills are due. I check the calendar compulsively, to remind myself “It’s still Saturday, Babs.”

You bet your ass I’m a DAMN good Tarot reader, though!

(via thehiddenscience)

This is my brand spanking new Tarot Reading site! Keen be damned, I’m breakin’ the mold! 

I used to read with all three. *grin* I miss my Thoth deck.

alexanderraban:

Agreed

dokkvitki:

One of Lady Frieda Harris’ alternate versions (and the coolest version, in my opinion) of the Magus from the Thoth tarot deck.

This and Aquarians comprise 60-56% of my workload.

(via dryptos)

New Tag-Line on Tarot Readers: 

“Bored Psychic on Sat night seeks Seekers<3”

The new “blurb”, should I ever get to the top five, will read:

“Psychic Tarot from a super-empathic, down to earth Tarot nerd. Clairaudient, -sentient, -voyant, energy-reader, also Astro-nerd. No topic is taboo.”

This is how I roll. Like a fuckin’ space case. <3

In what fashion will I meet my one true love, if such a thing will indeed exist in my life?

9Cups—Magus—7Disks

I know you’ll be Magicianing your way out of some sort of financial misfortune (I can’t come up with a better verb for a cat like you, lol. “Thinking on your toes plus manipulating local reality”?) when you find ‘er. And it looks you’ll feel like you’ve won the pussy lottery. If we go super-duper soul symbolic, which you probably ought, you’ll have accumulated a lot of gunk (attachments, karma, energies, whatever) and this person could (if properly utilized, don’t forget your Magician bits. Gifts from the Universe come like Ikea furniture and you must provide your own tools and initiative) be the perfect fount at the perfect time for washing off your psychic/karmic dross. 

It’ll be one of life’s more interesting coincidentally orchestrated accidents.

One of the most important facets of my job is to be the chick who knows enough to ask “Why… are you so determined to die on this hill?” I firmly believe (learned the hard way) that being temporarily alone is better than being stuck indefinitely in a bad relationship. It’s really hard to believe that this chick (eh, I just got out of a reading) and I never had that conversation. But I don’t remember much of what comes out of me during readings. I DO remember that she hasn’t liked me from day one. She’s been argumentative, snotty, and pushy about many topics. She makes silly decisions and when I (doing how I do) gently suggest there are flaws in her logic, she argues and justfies and I sigh and remember that the customer is always right. And I guess.. in that, I failed. Because her dudefling imploded, and her life is over. She quoted me as saying he’d be “all over her, like a puppy.” A— He was, for a month. B—I know me. I know that when I see sensual/psychic/emotional chemistry cross a certain threshold I start explaining to the ladies that this is either going to make or break her man. I’m like 75% sure she was warned of this. Anyway, I tried to explain that in the scheme of things this is actually pretty light. And because of that -I’m- “fucked-up” and she’s never going to call me again. That wasn’t -even- fucked-up.

Fucked-up:

BITCHES SHOULD NOT FACILITATE THE CREATION OF BULLSHIT EMOTIONAL DELUSIONS BEHIND WHAT IS SIMPY A DESIRE TO GET FUCKED. NOT ALL BOYS ARE FOR KEEPING. REBOUNDS IS REBOUNDS AND THEY ARE NOT DESIGNED FOR LONG-TERM SUSTAINABILITY. YOU WILL KNOW WITHIN A FEW WEEKS OR A FEW MEETINGS WHETHER HE WANTS TO DATE YOU, FUCK YOU, OR PUT A BAG OVER YOUR HEAD. PLENTY OF FISH MEANS YOU DON’T KEEP THE FIRST MOTHERFUCKER WHO PAYS YOU ATTENTION. OR THE FIRST ONE WHO SAYS I LOVE YOU. OR THE FIRST ONE WHO FUCKS YOU. OR THE FIRST ONE YOU DECIDE YOU _WANT_. IT MEANS YOU THROW A FUCKTON OF FISH __BACK__. IT IS LIKE DEALING WITH SO MANY VIRGINS. SIT DOWN SHUT UP PAY ATTENTION GODDAMNIT!